A state of concern

Recently, I have been wondering what my motives are, why I do or think about certain things. It has come to my attention that I've had several thoughts that I am not proud of, and not once did I stop to think about why I could possibly be having these thoughts...until recently. I realized that these thoughts didn't come by my own will, but rather a combination of something I'm missing in life and possibly something I thought I could live without, but apparently that isn't the case. I've had several ideas of how to fulfill this void spot in my life, but none that could possibly fill it entirely. Although, the thought that I may be kidding myself does exist...but there's no knowing until it happens. If there's anything I need, it will be luck.