never felt more cheap.

On my way to school it was incredibly windy; iPod in hand, gym bag slung over my shoulder. While walking to the school from the bus stop I see a $20 bill fly right past my face. First reaction? Chase it while it was blowing in the wind. Yep, had to! At first I contemplated trying to find the person it had belonged to, but I had no clue where it came from! Also, if I were to ask someone about it, I'm sure half of them would lie and say it was theirs. Looks like I'm $20 richer (yay!). Lunch, anyone?

always happens

it's crazy how this always happens.
all she needs to do is tell me she loves me and my day is made.
I hope I have the same effect on you.

I love you

"on the inside"

eating in the library.
I feel so dangerous.

(lol)

(hair)cut

fresh line.
fresh fade.
and I'm feeling fresh.

she knows me all too well ... for the better

When your girlfriend plans a date around things you two have wished to do for a while, things that have significant meaning in the development of the relationship, and adds a ton of spice to it ... damn, you can't help but be amazed and completely grateful that she had the time to put together something so awesome amidst her busy lifestyle.

First stop: VIP Billiards. What can I say ... shooting pool with her was great, never felt so refreshing in my life. After that we went to a park that is very close to our hearts, we visited this place when we first entered post-secondary institutions and wanted a place to hang out. Sitting on a park bench, laying down in my lap, amazed that there were no clouds in sight and talking about the solar system was something out of this world. We decided we were both hungry so we left the park, picked up some books from the local library since it was a mere 5-minute walk away, and then headed over to UTSC for an early dinner. Subway was being served, yum! Ham on whole wheat fixed with lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, hot peppers and honey mustard sauce = meal of champions.

Unbelievably enough, UTSC is extremely close to our hearts. The extremities of our relationship can be pointed out to locations on campus that probably have little meaning to the passerby students. A mere 2km radius from the campus can literally contain close to 70% of the happenings in the relationship. Locations of heart break, the mending of these, and everything from these to the most extravagant parts of our relationship are all connected to this campus in many ways. Going back there and spending time in the places that seemed, at the time, were the locations of a storyline headed to its demise made it feel all the more important. Much like how they were supposed to feel from the beginning; what is a relationship without its downfalls, though? Too good to be true, that's what. We had to go through those downfalls, and that's why this (relationship) never felt more real, more ... established than it ever has. And I couldn't imagine being happier with anyone else.

nostalgia

So I just got into a nostalgic mood, thinking about things from my past that I miss. In no particular order, here they are:

• playing organized basketball.
• It has been a while since I've actually played organized basketball with a competitive team. Let me get one thing straight, NYPAA2 sucked balls. I hated playing on that team. It's hard to win when four of the five guys on the floor want to be all-stars. 
• living in Scarborough
• what can I say? these were the glory days. I can sum up all of my days here in Richmond Hill and they still wouldn't have added up to a week in Scarborough...on John Tabor. Florence kids biking around and just making anything possible. I could have sworn we once had ambitions of building a go-kart ...
• the friends I left behind
• friends are a big part of my life; always have been and always will. Chilling and John, Julz, Francis, Jeff, JR (yep, him too), Jay, Mel, Criz ... and then later Camille, Paulo, Carlo, Sam ... always fun times. Well, not so much Sam since I still see her ... but she made the list anyway

This isn't without saying that my life right now is great. I'm in a good school preparing myself for a great profession, the best family anyone could ever ask for, an amazing girlfriend whom I'm very serious about and plan to be with for a very long time ... but even having everything going for you doesn't mean you forget about your past. I know I won't.

BTW, just wanted to wish my sweetheart a happy 29 month anniversary. I love you, Michelle!

the epitomy of distrust?

What do you do when it's miraculously and steadily getting harder to trust your partner? Just some things that have happened over the last 24 hours were my girlfriend emailing her ex to see how he was doing, she asked me if I think she would ever cheat on me and then proceeded to compliment me on how good of a boyfriend I am, and then proclaimed she was going to change her password for her email account. I just checked; she did. She wouldn't have changed it if she didn't have anything to hide and no matter how much she tries to reassure me, I'm just going to be feeling this way until I find out the truth. You can count on it.

the miracle of life

(gah. not this again!)
I'm in my gen ed class, titled "The Development of Human Sexuality", watching an educative movie called The Miracle of Life. I can only recall memories of watching this in the health portion of phys. ed ... and quite frankly, I don't want to be remembering what I'm picturing! Anybody who had to watch this in high school can relate to my feelings. Although it was several years ago, I'm probably mature enough to endure watching what I remember seeing. Hopefully.

when your 'truth' ends up a lie ...

So I went and checked out my livejournal account yesterday, safe to say it still exists and everything I've ever written is still there. Coming back to it after more than two years is really refreshing, I got to see how I was and what things were important to me way back when PS2's were still the "must-have" game console. I also got to see my old writing style! I really can't believe how many punctuations I used and how out of place they were! Commas galore, improper use of the semi-colon, among other writing mistakes. No wonder I didn't do well in english in high school!

Beside the fact that I had complete disdain for my writing style, I found something out about myself...something I didn't notice when I was writing the posts: I was blind. When I used to write about myself, I really only touched on things like foosball, playing the guitar, and love, well ... whatever I thought love was at the time. I remember my feelings as I was writing those entries as if it was yesterday; lust, for the most part. I was graduating high school, recently got my drivers license, had great friends and a wonderful girlfriend. I was completely blinded by the fact that there were so many good things going for me that I wasn't able to realize any truths behind the things I loved most. That high school: prepared me for college material but not the work ethic; what's a drivers license without insurance, my parents were trying to pay off debt; great friends that completely lost touch the summer after graduation; the girlfriend who liked me but deep down only took me as a rebound. Do you act like all that is in the past and it doesn't matter anymore, or do you reconstruct your future using the things you now know? Go.

Kanye and Taylor Swift ... staged or not?

Here's the breakdown: Taylor Swift wins the award for "Best Female Video". She comes up to the stage, begins her congratulatory speech then Kanye steals the microphone and the attention to give his opinion, saying that Beyonce (Knowles) has the best video ... and proceeds to leave the stage.

Some thoughts while watching this (and several times after on YouTube) are:

• what the hell was he doing up there without security chasing after him for the 30 seconds he was talking?
• taking the former into consideration, could this be a ravenous ploy for attention from the media?
• was it staged?
• lastly, what do you say after something like that?! ... "eugh, yeah. sooo ... this is awkward. kthxbai!"

Apparently he is being withheld by security after the incident, but what will happen to him or his career? Would this generate enough publicity that it could possibly benefit him in one way or another? What consequences does he deserve? I personally think his history speaks for his future.

sidelined. fml.

First week of school went as well as I expected it to ... except for the fact that my doctor says I may have a torn ligament in my knee. FML seriously. Being an athletic guy (somewhat), I feel helpless most of the time since that dreadful Wednesday when I first got the news, but I've been able to live with it. In fact, I looked at it as a way to start working out my arms and core (abdominals, obliques, etc).

Aside from school and exercise, this was my first post on blogger (yay)! This essentially will be a blog for school purposes, like trying to get programs working or something of the like, rarely will I actually post about life unless I find I really need to write my feelings out (reminds me of my livejournal days, sigh...). Anyway, I hope y'all have a wonderful day.

TJ